|Tha biggest mistake of my life
||[Oct. 7th, 2004|12:16 pm]
|||||I hate this place....||]|
I was sooo silly to think that dating this one boy in my soph year in HS was tha biggest mistake of my life...but actually I was wrong...coming to HU was. I mean I feel like shit now...December is so far away and I am stuck here until then. I feel like shit right now...I don't want to be here, and I HATE it...I wish I could leave. The people who knew me in high school...I'm a different person from that. I feel so out of place right now at HU, this aint tha place for me. I would rather be surrounded by diversity, and be able to go home when I want to, and not feel trapped. I would rather be near my family. I was looking forward to starting over, but actually, it's worse than starting over. LIke I think I'm depressed...fa real. I need to leave ASAP, because it's affecting my grades...so right now my main concern is having my grades high enough so I'll have a high enough GPA to transfer and earn my credits...I don't feel like being around anyone right now, I feel so...helpless. I wish I would have never come to Hampton...then I feel worse because I ran up my parents' phone bill calling them collect, I feel so guilty because I call them all the time because I am homesick. If I am closer to home, then it won't be that bad. Yea, I wanted to get away from Cleveland, but right now, I'd give anything to go back. I feel like dropping out of school all together...HU changed me, and not for the better either. Now I have no clue what I want to do, I don't think I want to be a Sports Journalist anymore, I don't want to be in college...I'm more than capable, but right now, I just want to give up on everything and just go back to Cleveland and work...but I know my parents aint havin it. I feel as if I won't fit in anywhere...I'm pretty sure I will fit in @ B-W...I already know ppl there, it's close to home, I know the campus and where to go if i need help, and I can get a job...a HUGE part of me is excited to know that eventually (either this next semester or next fall) I will be there @ B-W...but another part of me is depressed, and I feel trapped knowing that I am at Hampton for at least tha rest of the semester. I am praying really hard that my parents don't make me stay the entire year...cause for that, I would drop out of school.