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Leaving Livejournal [Nov. 27th, 2005|12:05 am]
[Current Music |Israel and New Breed-No Limits (enlarge my territory)]

Well Well Well...I am leaving livejournal to tha few friends who read this...I cannot even begin to say how much my life has changed in just under a month!

When I started this journal back in September of 2004 I was mainly on here cause of my girl Ryssa. It was my outlet because I was REALLY depressed and unhappy. But praise God, He's brought me a LONG way from that point! This was my outlet when I was depressed, HAPPY, feelin crazy...I've just come such a LONG way since I left Hampton over a year ago.

I am leaving livejournal mainly because I need some unification in my life lol...I've had about 4 diff blogs since I started blogging...and it's become to hectic to maintain four of them.
but most of all, it's just time to move on from livejournal. As time goes on, I will have just ONE blog (www.xanga.com/just_my_destiny)...I think about how I will be 20 years old in a few months...it's a bigger milestone for me than most others...

God has TRULY blessed me beyond measure this last month and is moving through me like I couldnt have even imagined! I just need some ORDER in my life right now...and it's just time to move on from Livejournal!

So I just want to say thank you DeAnna and Ryssa for TRULY being there when I needed y'all, I will still be on AIM 24-7 lol I just wont be on here anymore. Deb, it was cool finding u again after so long...I pray that God blesses you and keeps you in his arms and keeps u safe if u go study abroad...u can reach me on facebook, that is where u can find me! lol or on AIM DeiDei 04...I love y'all!
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HA HA back to friends only! [Sep. 27th, 2005|12:39 am]
yes back to a friends only journal...if ur not a friend...ur not missing out on much anyhow...
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R.I.P. [Sep. 10th, 2005|01:26 pm]
[Current Mood |sadsad]

R.I.P. Mattie Berry (grandma)

9-8-05 I miss you and I will always love you...

headed south for the funeral...keep me and my family in your prayers...
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9 dayz til I leave!!!! [Aug. 12th, 2005|08:26 pm]
LOL ok...don't mind me y'all...I'm just very ready to go to school! I think I'm gonna buy a camera and chronicle my last week here in Cleveland before I go to Kent on the 21st. Yes, I know that this isn't my first time goin off to college, but I just wanna take pictures (haven't taken any since March, for my birthday!) and I just wanna have some recent pictures of the people and places I love!

Umm oh yeah...I got housing (FINALLY!) I'm in overflow housing in Terrace Hall for 3 weeks and then I get to move into another dorm...my permanent home (for tha year anyhow) but I am going to call my roommate tommorrow or tonight..I hope she's cool. She is new to Kent State too and I guess we're gonna be roommates for 3 weeks or somethin like that...I dunno.

I guess I am starting to get lonely a little bit...seeing my best friend tonight with her "friend" (u know what that means...talking but not officially together)...yeah I want something like what she has.

OH well...I think I'm gonna break tha ice and call my roommate! So BYE FOR NOW!!!

Oh yeah...9 MORE DAYZ!
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Sooooo....let's talk about something meaningful today [Aug. 8th, 2005|11:44 pm]
[Current Mood |okayHURRY UP AUG 21st!]
[Current Music |Switchfoot (as usual)]

Or maybe not...lets see how I feel by tha end of the entry.

So in 13 days I leave for school. Even tho I currently have no dorm assignment, I will be on Kent State's campus on the morning of August 21st. I can't wait! But I will be completely honest...this is tha first major test of my faith since I recommitted last month. Sure last summer, we faced similar circumstances. Last summer, tuition had not been paid until the day I moved in. But at least I had a dorm assignment this time last summer. Ah oh well. God keeps telling me that everything will work out, so why am I freaking out?

I'm getting kinda annoyed and impatient with all of this...yeah I know it's a bad thing to say that I'm annoyed with God...well okay not neccesarily annoyed with HIM. But I'm annoyed because all I want to do is move in and have everything turn out fine!

So let's talk about a more serious subject...boys...and sex...ha ha

So umm allow me to be transparent. But then again, usually I am.

For those of you who didn't know...me and my father haven't exactly been close since I was about 12 or 13. Yeah,I realize now how blessed I was to have him growing up. But at the same time, he wasnt really there for me. And me, seeking male attention, began to seek out guys to chase and it became a conquest thing, I thought I had all the power, cause I got to choose tha guy. 9th and 10th grade I began to chase boys, and I thought I had the upper hand. Boy was I wrong. The guy I spent the most energy on chasing was the main guy who hurt me. And it took me nearly a year to heal from what happened with him. By the grace of God, and despite everything I've been through, I'm still pure. Cause I wanna be able to give my husband something that no other guy has had. Sure other guys have gotten my heart, broken it, etc...but that special part of me, I'm saving that!

Sex...see I'm such a romantic. I have always dreamed of my first time being with the perfect guy, and having THE WORKS...rose petals, candles everywhere, etc. And for me, I've ALWAYS dreamed of having my first time with my husband. The only person who EVER came close to touching that was Nate. Not in him being husband material, but he was the first and ONLY person I ever considered having sexwith outside of marriage. Yeah I loved him that much. But I didn't think that the love was a good enough reason to have sex with him. And after talking to my sister today, I'm so grateful that I didnt. I'm not gonna put my older sister's business out there but she was basically passing some wisdom along to me, and you know what, I LOVE HER SOOO MUCH!!!! She's been there as someone to talk to and look up to when there was no one else around. And I'm so proud of her for raising my nephews and goin to school...she graduates in DECEMBER from nursing school. Go sis!!!!

I digress..but anyway...I'm through chasing boys. This year is all about ME. Time for me to finally be selfish and do things for me. You don't know how hard this summer has been, trying not to reach out to my exes for comfort like I usually do. Trust me, I still love Nate...but I'm not ready to talk to him. I'm not the same person that I was when I dated him. I've changed too much. I may call him before I leave...maybe next week, to see him one last time. But I dunno...I'm just not ready to talk to him, it's been like that for the past few weeks now.

Aight, I'm through writing a book ha ha. But really...consider this...God knew what he was doing when he said "No sex before marriage." Because there is such a bond that is created once you have sex with that person...one not meant to be broken. And besides...why settle for imitation (sex before marriage with the wrong person) when you can have the REAL THING? (your husband)

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What's really hood? [Aug. 4th, 2005|11:27 pm]
Well well well...so I haven't written in here in awhile...

my father is doing fine...he's home and getting much better.

in other news...i don't have housing from Kent yet...and I move in on August 21st...how lovely...

tommorrow is Jaylen's birthday (my nephew in tha picture)...he will be 3!

well that is all for now...holla!
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God is good none tha less! [Jul. 23rd, 2005|05:51 pm]
[Current Mood |stressedI wanna go to school!]
[Current Music |South Street-Da T.R.U.T.H.]

so yeah it's been a little bit since I updated...my father is in tha hospital but it's not life threatening...hopefully he'll be back at work by tha end of next week, just keep him and my fam in your prayers cause it's definitely taking a toll on us as far as stress goes. Other than that everything is goin okay,my job sucks as usual, but I'm otherwise doing great. I briefly missed my ex but I'm cool now. I'm okay with being single, I just need to work on myself, so God can bring that special guy into my life lol.


oh and random entries will be friends only...but my life is no longer that exciting and full of drama to be making friends-only entries anyhow. HOlla!
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Somethin a lil different... [Jul. 16th, 2005|07:50 pm]
[Current Mood |sillyjust chillin]
[Current Music |Da T.R.U.T.H. -South Street]

So uh yeah, I've been basically chillin lately. Just tryna build upon my relationship with God and whatnot. As of right now, my plan is just that I'm goin to school, tryna figure out what tha heck I wanna do for a career.

. I just felt this sudden urge to do music and I've been writing alot lately...I dunno, maybe God has called me to do this, we'll soon see. I've always been like "God's callin me? Why me? I dont have that voice that makes you go 'wow' or I'm not constantly ministering to people or anything like that. Out of all the people he could choose to give this gift to, he chose me...and right now it's really mind boggling, but hey, if it's God's will, then I will do it, no doubt."

Right now, my theme song is "I Understand" by Smokie Norful. My favorite part of the song is the chorus.

"One more day, one more step, I'm preparing you for Myself, and if you can't hear My voice, please trust my plan, I'm the Lord I see, and Yes I understand"

Oh my goodness this is the story of my year...when I came home I really had no clue what I was supposed to be doing. But God had a plan, He's had a plan all along. Even if I did decide to take a different path...honestly I don't know if I came home when I was supposed to from Hampton. I know I was only meant to be there for a season, but I left early I think. However, things fell into place once I got home and went nothing like I had planned. I dropped a boring history class to pick up Urban Studies, and well I'll be darned, I ended up loving that class and am thinking about becoming a city planner. I would have never discovered that if I woulda been at Hampton. There were no classes like that there. And then me and my best friend been tryna go to tha same school for 13 years and we finally ended up at Tri-C together. Go figure. And it was when we needed each other, too. And on top of that, I know some pretty cool Christians (like Jeffrey, Brandon, etc) through her. So I think that in some crazy way, everything this year was ordained. It was meant to be. So that song by Smokie Norful, it is very near and dear to me, because that's God's way of telling me to trust Him, because through the Good and the Bad, He has my back and has a plan.

Oh so anyway I got that CD by da TRUTH(a gospel hip hop CD), oh man it's SOOOO tight. Like really, he's better than alot of tha secular MCs. Anyway so I came home inspired...remembering how back in tha day (well actually almost 4 years ago) I used to online battle my ex boyfriend with freestyles...basically we used to write each other back and forth, writing freestyles via email. I've been told my freestyles are decent...but check this one I wrote today out for yourself.


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Friends...only friends [Jun. 28th, 2005|02:59 am]
Hey guys...this journal is officially friends only...I left a few past entries behind but all future entries will be friends only. If you arent' a friend then chances are you wouldn't know who I'm talking about if I posted public anyhow. Peace out and One LUV!
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Kent State is where it's AT! [Jun. 9th, 2005|12:10 am]
[Current Music |Let Go-Ki Ki Sheard]

Guess what? I officially got accepted to Kent State !!!!!!!!

Kent State is Where It's At!!!!!!!
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